May 17th

I'm the Fool
One who always,

..living in the moment..
..Trusting the flow of life..
..Taking crazy chance..
..Taking the foolish path..
..acting on impulse..
..Trusting one heart's desire..

Is that so wrong about being a fool?

12 signs that you know me well....:

  • You know why people calling me black instead of Rina
  • You know that i had a head surgery when i was 5 because a grandfather clock fell into my head
  • You will never ask me to quit smoking
  • You will call me flirty
  • You will ask me to give you a massage
  • You will remind me to check my belongings
  • You won't bother to give me the bus route, because i will end up going by taxi
  • You will not make me wait for more than half an hour at the mall due to my shopping habit
  • You won't get pissed each time i give you strange question
  • In the bar, you will buy me liqour instead of beer becuz u know that i hate beers.
  • you won't bother to tell me a racist joke because i will hardly laugh
  • you know i can eat any kind of food except ati dan ampela

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    Thursday, October 11, 2007
    The Cliche is Winning

    4 AM, and still can not sleep. Thoughts are scrambling and seems have no intention of leaving. So come thoughts, letís have some peace. Iíll collect and turn you to words, but you must promise to leave and let me have my sleep.

    Missing someone that you are not able to see again is aching. Iíve been thinking a hell lot about my mom and how I really want to talk and meet her right now. Itís funny though, remembering that we have never even that close before. Yes, I believe that I have a strong bond, but just like any other daughter-mother relationship; we had spent most of our time arguing and made each other cry.

    So right now letís talk about the concept of taken things for granted. You never really know how much you love something until you actually loose it, itís a clichť saying I know, but then furthermore, I think, the loosing part is not as tough as the loving part. Maybe we should never love someone too deeply, or else we should never allow our self to lower your grounds and let someone love you and/or giving them a chance to express and showing their love. If my mom hadnít been sick, and if she hadnít know that she would die on cancer, maybe our relationship will be just like any other days, when doors were banged and words were screamed out. And I would not feel as lonely as this, and I would not sitting here in the middle of dawn thinking and remembering how she suddenly turned into a beautiful loving mother that one day refused to sleep and take her any medication unless my father move her to my bed so that she can  sleep next to me.  The memories of the laughter,  her soft hand holding mine, all those feelings are now swirling back at me, just when I know that I can have it no more. I think God has become ironic and sarcastic in this way. He designed human to be insensitive and uncaring, and made them never can appreciate anything good until they actually loosing it. The clichťís is winning.

    Or maybe itís not the love that making me feels this miserable right now. Itís the dramatic changes from hate to love, the period in between when you know you are about to loose something. The awkward moment when you about to tell them how much you care, how much you donít want to loose them, how much you do anything to have them with you, That moment, that precise moment, you soon realize that youíve been throwing away your time with them with those banged doors and screams. And itís already too late. And you never be able to turn back the time. And you will always living your life, regretting..

    Posted at 03:14 pm by mimi_hitam


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